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Grace
by Betsy Williams
Here at the table now we pray:
keep us together day by day
may this, our family circle, be
held fast by love and unity.
John S. Mackey
Several nights ago my son had a
new friend over for dinner. As we
took our seats at the table, and
reached out to hold hands, I told
him that we like to take a minute
before we start eating to say grace.
Barely had I uttered the word
"grace" when his hands flew up in
the air and he sputtered, "Oh, oh,
I'm not Christian!" Practically in
unison the four of us replied, 'Well,
neither are we!"
What followed was a remarkably
intelligent discussion of Unitarian
Universalism and Judaism, which
as it turned out was this boy's religion.
It was fun to see the years of
religious education of all three
children in the discussion "paying
off' in their ability to describe and
understand each other's religious
beliefs. But as rewarding as the
discussion was, the outburst that
precipitated it was disconcerting.
The moment of silence and gratitude
our family shares before eating
is not a custom which I associate
(or want others to associate) Solely with Christianity.
I was reminded once again of how
distant many UU families are from
some of the more traditional elements
of family worship-table
grace or bedtime prayers— due
largely I'm sure to their own experiences
as children when these rituals
were meaningless repetitions
with little or no positive affect. But
our children don't carry this negative
baggage and, I believe, can
benefit from a liberal religious
approach to these rituals.
To help UUs everywhere reclaim
these customs, CLF board member
Helen Pickett has recently edited
Rejoice Together, a collection of
prayers, meditations, and other
readings for family, individual or
small group worship. The selections
on this page show what you'll
find in this helpful new book. Some
of you will find immediate uses for
these readings-candle lightings
for special occasions, seasonal
meditations, table graces for holiday
meals. Others may need to first
become comfortable with the process
of grace (or prayer or worship)
in a way which feels right for you
and your family, a way that you can
own and think of as yours.
Looking back to when my family
started saying grace years ago, I
have to admit that our reasons
were less than spiritual. I simply
wanted everyone to be seated at the
table before serving or eating began.
Our motivation was driven by
practical social manners—not a desire
to thank God (a Jewish tradition)
or ask for forgiveness (a
Christian theme). But what started
as a routine formality soon
changed. As we held hands and
looked into each others eyes (even
for so brief a moment as our simple
home-grown grace) I found myself
truly feeling blessed—glimpsing the
divine as it sat around our table,
feeling the power of our love for
each other and gratitude for our
lives together. Over the years of
nightly repetition that feeling,
which I have come to recognize as
an experience of the holy, has
never diminished.
I urge you to consider putting a
simple ritual of prayer or giving
thanks into your family life.
Whether you stumble on it as we
did, or plan it with purpose and
care, you will all be well rewarded by the opportunity to feel connected
and rejoice together.
To order Rejoice Together from the
UUA Bookstore, call 800-215-9076.
For bread, for friends, for joy and
sorrow, for the comfort of quietness,
let us ever be grateful and
caring.
Rudolph W. Nemser
These are the days that have been
given to us;
let us rejoice and be glad in
them.
These are the days of our lives;
let us live them well in love and
service.
These are the days of mystery and
wonder;
let us cherish and celebrate
them in gratitude together.
These are the days that have been
given to us;
let us make them stories worth
telling to those who come
after us.
William R. Murry
May the quality of our lives
be our benediction
and a blessing to all whom we
touch.
Philip R. Giles
May we be inspired with gratitude
for the wondrous gifts that are
ours
and be filled with the resolve to
share them with all who are in
need.
May we hold precious one another,
and the world which provides
us with sustenance and beauty.
And may a song of thanksgiving be
on our lips to the creator and
sustainer of life.
Marta M. Flanagan
Be ye lamps unto yourselves; be
your own confidence. Hold to the
truth within yourselves as to the
only lamp.
Buddhist
May this light kindle within us
the warmth of compassion
the glow of love
the fire of commitment .
the light of truth
Marianne Hachten Cotter
Last updated June 12, 2005
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