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chalice
  RELIGIOUS EDUCATION
 
 
Grace
by Betsy Williams



Here at the table now we pray:
keep us together day by day
may this, our family circle, be
held fast by love and unity.
John S. Mackey


Several nights ago my son had a new friend over for dinner. As we took our seats at the table, and reached out to hold hands, I told him that we like to take a minute before we start eating to say grace. Barely had I uttered the word "grace" when his hands flew up in the air and he sputtered, "Oh, oh, I'm not Christian!" Practically in unison the four of us replied, 'Well, neither are we!"

What followed was a remarkably intelligent discussion of Unitarian Universalism and Judaism, which as it turned out was this boy's religion. It was fun to see the years of religious education of all three children in the discussion "paying off' in their ability to describe and understand each other's religious beliefs. But as rewarding as the discussion was, the outburst that precipitated it was disconcerting. The moment of silence and gratitude our family shares before eating is not a custom which I associate (or want others to associate) Solely with Christianity.

I was reminded once again of how distant many UU families are from some of the more traditional elements of family worship-table grace or bedtime prayers— due largely I'm sure to their own experiences as children when these rituals were meaningless repetitions with little or no positive affect. But our children don't carry this negative baggage and, I believe, can benefit from a liberal religious approach to these rituals.

To help UUs everywhere reclaim these customs, CLF board member Helen Pickett has recently edited Rejoice Together, a collection of prayers, meditations, and other readings for family, individual or small group worship. The selections on this page show what you'll find in this helpful new book. Some of you will find immediate uses for these readings-candle lightings for special occasions, seasonal meditations, table graces for holiday meals. Others may need to first become comfortable with the process of grace (or prayer or worship) in a way which feels right for you and your family, a way that you can own and think of as yours.

Looking back to when my family started saying grace years ago, I have to admit that our reasons were less than spiritual. I simply wanted everyone to be seated at the table before serving or eating began. Our motivation was driven by practical social manners—not a desire to thank God (a Jewish tradition) or ask for forgiveness (a Christian theme). But what started as a routine formality soon changed. As we held hands and looked into each others eyes (even for so brief a moment as our simple home-grown grace) I found myself truly feeling blessed—glimpsing the divine as it sat around our table, feeling the power of our love for each other and gratitude for our lives together. Over the years of nightly repetition that feeling, which I have come to recognize as an experience of the holy, has never diminished.

I urge you to consider putting a simple ritual of prayer or giving thanks into your family life. Whether you stumble on it as we did, or plan it with purpose and care, you will all be well rewarded by the opportunity to feel connected and rejoice together.

To order Rejoice Together from the UUA Bookstore, call 800-215-9076.


For bread, for friends, for joy and sorrow, for the comfort of quietness, let us ever be grateful and caring. Rudolph W. Nemser
These are the days that have been given to us;
let us rejoice and be glad in them.
These are the days of our lives; let us live them well in love and service.
These are the days of mystery and wonder;
let us cherish and celebrate them in gratitude together.
These are the days that have been given to us;
let us make them stories worth telling to those who come after us. William R. Murry

May the quality of our lives be our benediction
and a blessing to all whom we touch.
Philip R. Giles

May we be inspired with gratitude for the wondrous gifts that are ours
and be filled with the resolve to share them with all who are in need.
May we hold precious one another, and the world which provides us with sustenance and beauty.
And may a song of thanksgiving be on our lips to the creator and sustainer of life.
Marta M. Flanagan

Be ye lamps unto yourselves; be
your own confidence. Hold to the
truth within yourselves as to the
only lamp.
Buddhist

May this light kindle within us
the warmth of compassion
the glow of love
the fire of commitment .
the light of truth
Marianne Hachten Cotter



Last updated June 12, 2005

 
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