Grace
by Betsy Williams
I paused as I walked into Meg's
new room. On the floor in the corner
was an unusual collection of
items, neatly arranged on a woven
placemat: a beautiful shell from the
tropics, a smooth rock with a white
ring around it, a beat-up old soft-ball.
Just above the collection was a
picture of Meg's Mom, and another
of her Dad-separate, as they have
been now for three years.
I didn't have to ask what this
touching scene was about. I knew it
was Meg's personal altar where she
goes to sit and think and just be
quiet. Setting up an altar in her
room and spending time there every
day was a practice Meg, age 10,
began when her Mom and Dad
were getting divorced. Then, she
often wanted to escape the anger
and confusion around her. Surrounded
by small reminders of
what was good and meaningful in
her life, she felt less alone, more
able to face the hurt. Apparently, it
became a habit worth keeping-a
habit many would call a form of
prayer.
The practice of prayer is a difficult
religious ritual for many Unitarian
Universalists—with good reason.
The images most readily associated
with prayer are all very un-UU:
reciting certain prayers at certain
times to attain certain rewards;
asking God to reverse the course of
nature and save our loved ones
from death; seeking revenge or
restitution for an injustice we experience
by asking a higher power
to punish the offender. Little wonder
UUs are so hesitant about
prayer!
| Prayer connects us with what is good and strong
deep within ourselves. It connects us with one
another and with the wider world of nature in which
we live. |
|
The kind of prayer that my friend's
daughter Meg does, (the kind of
prayer Suzanne Meyer talks about
on the opposite page), is entirely
different. Rabbi Harold Kushner
writes:
Prayer, when it is offered in the
right way, redeems people from isolation.
It assures them that they
need not feel alone and abandoned.
It lets them know that they are part
of a greater reality, with more
depth, more hope, more courage,
and more of a future than any individual
could hove by himself
(sic)....If we can come to under-stand
what prayer can and should
be, and rid ourselves of some unrealistic
expectations, we will be better
able to call on prayer, and on
God, when we need them most.
(When Bad Things Happen to Good
People, p.121-122)
Above all, prayer connects. It connects
us with what is good and
strong deep within ourselves. It
connects us with one another and
with the wider world of nature in
which we live. These connections
are always there. But, like an electrical
connection the current can be
strong and steady, or loose and
broken. Living religiously, nurturing
spirituality, means paying attention
to these connections, making
them as strong and steady as
possible. One way to do this is
through a regular practice of
prayer or meditation.
For children, having something to
focus on during prayer is helpful.
This could be a spoken thought to
contemplate (see your CLF Handbook of Religious Services for
ideas), a picture to look at, or a
combination of items set lovingly
on a personal altar. One year I
asked each member of my Sunday
school class to bring a small item
for our altar on opening day which
symbolized something important to
them. One person brought a picture
of her friends from summer
camp, another brought his dog's
favorite toy, another a Lego car he
had designed. They liked the ritual
so much we continued it through-out
the year, adding different objects
of significance to our altar
each Sunday. Children delight in
assigning meaning and significance
to ordinary things in their lives.
(Adults do too!)
Finding time for prayer is often the
biggest obstacle. Don't let your
good intentions stall out because
you don't have a half-hour every-day
to do this! Meaningful prayer
can be very short-a moment or
two sitting quietly around the dinner
table is a form of prayer. It is
not the amount of time, but the
regularity of practice, which makes
prayer meaningful.
How many of you already have a
regular prayerful practice in your
family life? Take a minute to think
about what prayer means to you.
Do you pray? Do you pray with
your children? As a family? I'd like
to hear from you about what you
do, or have tried, in your family.
What has worked and what hasn't?
Do you think prayer is an important
ritual to teach our children?
Why or why not?
Please let me hear your thoughts
by phone, mail, or e-mail:
(bwilliams@uua.org). I look
forward to hearing from you!
Last updated June 12, 2005
|
